I feel weird and confused

I feel like shit today ever since I woke up today. I feel alone, trampled, depressed, unappreciated, and Jealous towards everything. It's like an emotional Dam broke and I don't know why. Today is not the only day I have felt jealousy but I managed to have it under control. I don't really understand why I feel it. It's not that I hate what other have or accomplished but I feel this intense desire of I wish I had that too.

Maybe it's because my school life sucked and always felt second rate that those feelings have lingered and stuck with me. I never felt truly appreciated for things I did or felt like a friend or part of a group. I always was made into a butt of a joke or treated as something I was not. I got used by others. I was afraid of taking action because I would be stared and talked about behind my back.

Maybe it's because of these things that have happened that I'm scared of being alone and angry at myself for not being a better person and doing more. That I'm so desperate I cling to what ever relationships I have and feel afraid and threatened like someone is going to overpower me. That I don't want to be second rate like in school. Etherway, I do feel bad for feeling like this.

YOU HAVE FRIENDS HERE MAN!
I don't really know what you can do about feeling that way though. Try getting some sun and hope tomorrow is a better day?

I feeling better today. Sometimes I need an outlet to express my feelings. Today, I'm in such a better mood, looking back at yesterday's post seems so foreign. I really can be emotional turbulent like a barrel roll. I think part of what I end of feeling in a day depends on my dreams. I guess my dreams tend to be latent feelings that suddenly are unleashed and it overwhelms me in my sleep affecting my mood for the day.

I know how you feel. Last night I ended up going through the journals I kept for the past several years. Looking back on myself, I was pretty messed up. In particular, 2 years ago was pretty bad for me. Literal emotional roller coaster. I would cycle through depression throughout the course of a week. I was so confused and I had no idea what I should do. I needed an outlet for my feelings, which is why I kept a journal. Even though it didn't fix anything, I felt better that I could think about it and write it on a page. I learned a lot from the experience, looking back at it. I can also very distinctly remember each instance I wrote about.

I can honestly tell you that I know how it feels to be in your situation. Just know that things will get better with time. Yes, life will suck. I like to remember this analogy: "Life is like a vacuum, it either sucks or it's waiting to suck." Even though this is true, don't let it keep you down. Stay positive. You aren't ever alone, even when you feel the most alone.

Ammuine wrote:

Yes, life will suck. I like to remember this analogy: "Life is like a vacuum, it either sucks or it's waiting to suck." Even though this is true, don't let it keep you down. Stay positive. You aren't ever alone, even when you feel the most alone.

This is the truest statement ever spoken. (or typed >.>) My favorite saying is "Shit happens". Some shit you can prepare for, a lot of shit you can't prepare for. In those instances I find that the best thing you can do is not worry about it, (I think something may be wrong with me though since I never worry about anything. I've been told by psychiatrists that isn't normal. Meh.) And instead focus on fixing whatever went wrong and try to make the best of what you have. But above all don't forget that no matter how bad today was, tomorrow can always be the best day of your life.